Q. I remember the days when I was trying to be someone else. I kept faking myself consistently and I used to think that it’s only temporary and one day I will absorb all of it and also retain my true nature, if there was one. But, today the truth is that I have lost it all and that fake me has become the real me. So what am I today? Can I still find myself?

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How much ever we run away, the truth is that we are highly conditioned beings. We have been robbed off the opportunity to blossom in our true potential, freely. It is difficult to imagine, what world it would have been, if the human nature was allowed free space to flower without tempering with our minds on various pretexts. Starting from our early childhood, we are schooled variously by our family, society, culture, religion and other establishments. All the effort has been to somehow make us like the rest of the crowd, so that we settle, comfortably or uncomfortably, in the conventional patterns.

Authorities have their vested interests in us. On one side religions want us to believe in many things that they themselves have absolutely no idea about and then the politics wants to curtail a free thinking and spirited individual to grow, who might begin to question the basic premise on which they acquire power and govern. Society mediates for the two in achieving their ends and makes sure that we do not become individuals but remain dependant on the religion and politics, assisting them in their wars and corruption by being an unquestionable crawler.

This is achieved in two ways. Firstly, by dulling the questioning mind as much as possible through education and secondly, by creating a divide within us. While we continue to live our lives, the only questions our minds remain engaged with is around this divide and goes no further beyond that circle.

The divisiveness that is inculcated is between the polarities of what we are and what we should be. No matter what we do we are always in this conflict that keep us self-occupied. In this constant conflict about our actions being right or wrong, what people think of us, whether we are doing good or what is to happen to us; we lose the battle of life in favour of fears and insecurities other than also losing sensitivity and beauty of the life itself!

In this split we become the perfect instruments in the hands of the authorities, who have paths charted for us, which have been walked by innumerable people over centuries. And, we succumb by creating images of us within, whether or not in conformity with what we are!

Remember, the question that we were asked as kids. What do you want to become? May be asked in utter innocence, the answer of which is also enjoyed for its cuteness becomes a question that keeps deepening this existential crisis. Nobody ever really cared for what we actually are and so for us too it became invariably unnecessary to ever find out. Why at all if this is so insignificant?

This question of becoming something never leaves us. We live all our life in the shadow of this question and thus remain free no more. To become something, we start imitating. As we continue our journey, we keep on making images of ourselves; looking upto the people that we see enjoying power, money and respect in the society. Therefore, we are not us. We are those images, self-made images.

The questioner is fortunate who has questions about inquiring in his true nature. Amidst all this chaos and conflict the beauty is that nobody is completely divorced from his true nature. It is always there hidden in the dust of fake images and callous living. Anybody who dares to wipe the dust off can discover his true self and also know that it was never lost in the first place. We cannot see our true nature, if we do not peel off the fake images of ourselves; that is more often than not very valued in our eyes and that we have so diligently carved inwardly and deep within. So, the real question is whether we are prepared to un-condition ourselves?

Rumi puts this beautifully in his poetry, “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

 

 

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